PICK YOUR PERSON.
That friend. That sibling. That person who's really been earning it lately. Enter their shipping address at checkout.
PETTINESS, PERFECTLY PACKAGED
THEY HAD
IT COMING.
Flowers are nice. Chocolates are thoughtful. Coal makes a point. Send someone one very real lump of coal, straight to their doorstep.
SEND THEM COAL
$14.99SHIPPING INCLUDED*
*Standard shipping in the contiguous United States. Applicable taxes may be added at checkout.
ACTUAL COAL
YOUR MESSAGE, YOUR CALL
NAME OPTIONAL
SHIPPING INCLUDED*
01 / THE PRODUCTA GIFT WITH ZERO AMBIGUITY.
FIG. 01 — THE GOODSA REAL
PIECE OF
COAL!
A REALPIECE OF
COAL!
ONLY ONE PRODUCT. OBVIOUSLY.
THE
CLASSIC
COAL.
Not a metaphor. Not a gimmicky coal-shaped candy. One actual lump of coal, boxed and delivered with a message they won't soon forget.
- One (1) genuine lump of coal
- A personalized note, if you want one
- Leave your name off the note, or sign it
- Standard shipping included in the lower 48
THE DAMAGE$14.99One-time purchase · shipping included*
SECURE CHECKOUT BY SQUAREU.S. ORDERS ONLY
At Square checkout, enter the recipient's shipping address, your custom note, and whether to include your name. Buyer payment details are never printed on the gift.
02 / RIDICULOUSLY EASYTHREE STEPS TO PETTY GLORY.
HOW TO MAKE
A STATEMENT.
ADD SOME WORDS.
Write your own little message, or keep it beautifully simple. Sign the card or leave your name off.
WE MAIL THE COAL.
We pack the lump, print the note, and ship the whole unnecessary thing to their doorstep.
03 / FIND THE WORDSWORDS ARE HARD. COAL IS EASY.
A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE SPECIAL
“You deserve this.”
WITH LOVE (PROBABLY),
AN ADMIRER*
AN ADMIRER*
*Just an example. Your real message is entered securely at Square checkout.
THE BEST REVENGE
IS INCONVENIENTLY SMALL.
04 / IMPORTANT QUESTIONSYES, THIS IS A REAL BUSINESS IDEA.
FAQ.
SERIOUSLY.
The questions everyone asks about mailing one unbelievably petty little rock.
Is it actually real coal?
Yes. One real piece of coal, packed so it can be mailed without making a huge dusty mess.
Can I send it without putting my name on it?
Yes. You can leave your name off the gift note. The shipping label will show ShipCoal's business return address, not your home address. Your purchase is not anonymous to ShipCoal or our payment processor.
Can I add my own message?
Absolutely. Enter your gift message during Square checkout. Please keep it funny rather than threatening or harassing; we may cancel inappropriate orders.
Is shipping included in $14.99?
Standard shipping is included for the contiguous 48 United States. Applicable taxes, if any, may be calculated during checkout. We are not taking orders for Alaska, Hawaii, U.S. territories, or international addresses at launch.
How long does delivery take?
Timing depends on where it's headed and when your order ships. Once we're live, shipping details and tracking will be provided when available. We can't guarantee arrival by a particular date.
Can I use this to threaten or repeatedly contact somebody?
No. This is a novelty gift shop, not a harassment service. We don't accept threats, discriminatory abuse, repeated unwanted deliveries, or orders intended to intimidate anyone.
What if the package is returned?
Returned or undeliverable parcels come back to our business mailing address. Please double-check the recipient address before paying. See our shipping and refund policy for the details.
DON'T SAY IT.
MAIL IT.
One very real piece of coal. $14.99 with shipping included.*
Some messages are better delivered by geology.